"One day you were born. Another day you smiled, babbled, hugged, kissed. Rolled, crept, sat, crawled. Laughed and played for daddy. One day you walked... and ran the same day. One day you said "hi", "mama", "daddy". Another day you didn't. One day your eyes were laughing, one day they wore shutters. Someone said "is she deaf?" One day I held you so long for just one look. One day your brother played peek-a-boo for me. One day he pointed. One day, week, month, year he smiled at you. Once you looked...another time you smiled...laughed...and tickled him!! One day he talked, potty trained, made friends. Some days you banged your head till it bruised. One day you ran so far so fast my heart stopped in time. Some days you listen to my voice. One day you finally played peek-a-boo with me. Some days you smile in the sun, jump, swing up to the sky, swim like a fish, ride the horse like a trapeze artist. Some days you do good at school and smile all day and your classmates take good care of you. One day you touched your dog and now you hang on. Some days you cry... all day...every day... at the hardness of this world. Today and every day you are daddy's princess. Some day someone will "find a cure". Which day will it be for you? Soon enough to matter? Or too late because you will already be perfect?
I wrote this once about my daughter. Some people hate the word cure, but I would take a “cure” in a heartbeat for my daughter’s autism because it traps her inside her nonverbal self and causes her pain. Our journey has included many therapies: Gluten free/Casein Free diet, chelation, Greenspan’s play therapy, horseback riding, swimming, sensory diet, school services since 2, speech therapy, service dog, psychiatric meds for bipolar and self harm, temporary residential placement, in home staff, sign language, PECS…..and ABA therapy with potty training! Most of all a trampoline, swings, and lots of music…all the time! None are perfect but all are steps in learning. Two things are most important for us. Faith in the redemption of all of this someday and learning to care for ourselves and the whole family in balance. Today we are in a good place. When she is stable my daughter is joyful, often interactive, sometimes affectionate, and always moving. She likes her brothers and pets. She has wild curls I would have died to have at her age. She is so beautiful. I want her to always be safe and happy. In the more immediate I want her new ipad to open up her world and her to be able to play in Special Olympics because she is good at shooting hoops!
These are just some bits and pieces of our life. Blessings to all."
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