20 Reasons Why I Love Him

I know valentines day is done and over with, but I wanted to post something on our anniversary of when we officially started dating 7 years ago today, so here goes...

There are many more reasons for why I love my husband, but this is what I came up with for this post. This post has been really hard to come up with things, not because I do not love my husband, but the whole putting it into words that make sense and can be categorized. Love in its self is a hard thing to describe. I have an even hard time already describing emotions and feelings, so this is completely out of my little bubble and I know my husband can truly appreciate the gesture.

1. God Sent Me Him

I feel that God brought us together to be friends at first and then to be married like we are now. We both feel this way. We were meant to be together. We belong together. Through ups and downs in life we have been there for each other with God as our foundation and it will continue to be this way. I spent a year away from dating or even thinking about who I should date to find out what God wanted for my life. That is when he fell into my life as my best friend, which brings us to number two.

2. My Best Friend

He was my best friend before we started dating and still is my best friend. I would talk and talk to him from time I got done with homework (met when I was 16/Sophomore in high school) to the time I went to bed. We don't so much get he luxury to do that now days with Josiah(Little Man/LM) running around, me going to school, and him working, but I still love talking to him about our hopes and dreams. Talking about the here and now as well and hope that we can stay this way until one of his leaves this earth and that will only be a temporary separation, as I know we will be together again on the other side.

3. He Is My Other Half

As cheesy as this sounds he is literally my other half. The Jelly to my peanut butter(or some other alternative to those with peanut allergies) or how ever else you want to put this statement. He is my other half because I am the thinker and he is the emotions and even though this may be frustrating at times, it is what makes us work great together. When Josiah has had to have tough things done like a tongue tie and lip tie clipped I was he one to be there because Jason said he would be too emotional to do it/would want to hit the Dr. for hurting him. I am a very shy reserved person and he is partially shy as well, but when it comes to speaking up to certain DRs about stuff that I would rather ignore to avoid confrontation he is all there supporting our rights and decisions.

4. We Are In This Together

I love that we ware in this autism adventure together with Josiah. He is a part of his therapies and Dr appointments. I do not have to try to juggle it all myself. I have someone to stand by my side while we go through life. It is much easier to navigate through all the specialists and paper work when you have someone to help. He goes to all the appointments with us, I mainly fill out paper work for everything, but sometimes he fills in some stuff as well. He is en every part of what we do. He loves to come home and see Josiah's swimming pictures and other pictures from our day that he missed while he was at work. The FB page has both of us as admins and he loves to see all of the comments, likes and messages just as much as I enjoy to see the support. He may mostly be a silent observer with the page, but he is there. 

5.-7. Views On Gender Roles, He Love Me For Me, He Understands

I do not know how to separate these three without repeating myself over and over, but feel all of them deserves a mention. I love that he does not feel that gender roles should define us. I would feel extremely trapped if I was the stereotypical women. I do not wear make-up and I hardly wear dresses/skirts. He loves it when I do, but would never push the idea of me having to do it more often then I choose to do it. He knows that the way I get my energy is in very small groups or even by myself so he gives me my space when I need it. He does not feel that just because he works outside of the home means he gets a free pass on household jobs. We both do what we feel is best for our family as with what we do around the house. When he does stuff it is not just because I asked him to, but because it needs to be done and more times then not does not even need to be mentioned. I will do his chores at times and he will do mine depending on what is going on in any given time. He understands when I am in a do not touch me mood or a kiss is too much. Sometimes just a kiss feels like I am being smothered and he is very understanding of when that time is and I absolutely love that about him.

8. He Is A Wonderful Father

It is very easy to add into the no gender roles with making him a wonderful father^^. He lets Josiah be himself even if that means wanting to dress up like a fairy for fairy garden day. He did not tell him he could not do it because fairies are for girls. Just like he has never told Josiah that play kitchen's or dolls are just for girls. Josiah has dolls, play kitchen, trucks, cars, trains, and all kinds of things in between. It is what he likes and enjoys not what he should be. He is there for Josiah. Yes, there can be times when he gets a little more frustrated then I will about something, but it is evident that he trying and that Josiah LOVES him so much. When daddy is home on the weekend it is hard to separate those two as Josiah wants to soak up every min with him.

9. Service

I love the fact that when I decided to serve at church for school that he joined me and that he is by my side there every Sunday helping me teach the class. He is my other half in the classroom as well. we work so well together. I do the story and he does the song. I do the water he does the snack. We do not even have to plan or talk to each other about what needs to be done, we just know how we need to do it. We sometimes even switch between what kids we are playing with if we know that the other person's personality would add to the situation. This kind of thing makes me love him even more seeing him in a situation where we can share about God to a room full of children and just connecting weather it be through words or not. I could have just served on my own for class, but he is there by my side which is wonderful to have my other half there.

10. Foot Rubs At Night

Foot rubs or back rubs at night. I love that if I am laying in bed and my feet itch and he knows they do, he just says "give them here" and puts lotion on them/gives me a foot rub. He offers to rub my back and or neck if he realizes I need it. I do not have to say anything and rarely request to have either done, but really do enjoy it when he offers. To go along with this putting pressure on my legs and feet when I need it. I can not explain at all the feeling I have at times in my legs, but all I know is pressure/ weight helps make it go away. Thinking it is a stimulation issue and I used to think it was possible anxiety, but the anxiety only comes if the horrible feeling does not go away.

11. Support

I love him for his support that he gives to me. Through the times when I had night after night of the whole anxiety thing where I kind of went into myself not to be found, but he brought me out of it and I am happy to say I have not had problems like that in a long time. Of course only after having Josiah have I learned about meltdowns and all the different ways they can present. He has supported me with breastfeeding and all kinds of parenting choices that we have made together, but that I end up with the choice more then him. Like with breastfeeding we both think it is a great choice, but I am the one doing it and he is my wonderful supportive husband. He is also very supportive of the other people around him. I am more then willing to share my supportive husband when the need arises. We have some friends that used to be just my friends that are now both of our friends and they love to go to him for help specially when they need a more emotionally supportive role. Like I feel bad when something happens, I just am unsure as to what to say to a person. Not because I do not care, I just have the hardest time coming up with the words other then wow that sucks, sorry to hear that.

12. Kind Heart

The whole support thing brings me the the fact that he has a kind heart. He is a very caring person. He hates to see people hurting. This goes along with his heart for service, too. He sometimes will get frustrated because he can not help a person he wants to help, so it all comes out completely wrong then how it was supposed to come out.

13. Kiss Goodbye

I love that him and Josiah always gives me a kiss and sometimes a hug goodbye before they take off somewhere even if it is just the the store down a block from our house.

14. Good Worker

He is a good hard working at his job and sometimes takes the leadership position on his shift when needed. He has gone in on vacation days when he was needed. He always strives to be honest and work his hardest even if others are not. He is also a good worker at home (when it is not nap time).

15. Check-ins

I love that when he is at work he will call or text to let me know how he is doing or ask to see how me and Josiah are doing. He also will know then if we were having a bad day or night and I know if he had a bad day at work. We also will know if each other had a great day or things that Josiah accomplished, so he does not miss out on things while he is working second shift. If he was not napping during my classes I would be checking in on breaks as well, but Josiah is in therapy and he is napping, so all is quite during the time that I am away. I have sent him pictures of food and drink that ended up all over the floor due to a Josiah freak out or things we colored or painted before he destroys them. This is one of the many reasons I take so many pictures and videos, so hubby can play catch up on what happened while he was at work.

16. Sleeping in

I love that on Tuesdays and Fridays if there is no need for me to go to Josiah's ABA therapy I am able to stay home and sleep in. In return he sleeps an extra hour Mondays and Wednesdays and he naps the two hours that Josiah is in therapy 5 days a week. We both try to help each other get the most rest we can so we are able to handle meltdowns and tantrums a lot better from Josiah or have more energy to do fun activities with Josiah.

17. Washing My Hair

This has got to be my kryptonite. I know for some the sensory might be too much and for others it might not be such a big deal, but I love it. I suggest that every man tries at least once, to wash his significant others hair. Anyone should wash their significant other's hair/head at least once. I know my hubby loves it when I wash his hair/head (sometimes he shaves it almost all off like picture below). Specially if the women has long hair. You would not believe the time and energy that is taken into hair even if it is just brushed out like I do. Imagine the time that is put into curling or straitening for some women. The feeling of just being able to relax while one tasks that you may sometimes dread is being done for you is partially why it is amazing. The other part is when you add pressure and massage the sensory sensations are all out wonderful. I can see why most kids love to have their heads washed (I say most because for some with autism it is a sensory nightmare).

18. Taking care of me when I am sick

This took place yesterday. I gave him a call to pick me up from class early and got Josiah ready as soon as possible to get me. He even brought a bucket encase I got sick on the way home. He got me seven up and ginger ale. Got me water, blankets and a heating pad. He took off work to watch Josiah while I spent the afternoon in the bathroom, head over a bucket or sleeping. 

19. Respectful

He has always been very respectful. Before we were married he respected wishes not to do certain things and not to move to fast. He respects wishes to not do things now that we are married as well. I am his love, not a piece of property to be owned and used however he wishes. That is one of the reasons I love him so much. He was extremely patient and respectful of issues I had after Josiah was born. Through that patients and respecting that sex was painful and just not going to happen we grew even closer to each other. 

20. Just Because

I love him because I love him. When all else is going wrong and nothing seems right, I still love him. Even when I am mad at him, I still love him. This makes it so we can not be mad at each other for very long. I look forward to spending he rest of my life with him and loving him just because. 

P.S. to my hubby are you happy I told you no peeking and you have to wait until Tuesday to see it!

Autism Sunday

Autism Sunday, also known as the International Day of Prayer for Autism and Asperger syndrome, is observed annually on the second Sunday of February. 

This year, that day is February 9th, 2014, one day before Micah's 5th birthday. Today. 

Four years ago, I didn't know Mama J, I'd never heard of her or seen her around town. I lived in the same city as her and had no idea. Then, something happened. Autism happened. We moved to a town about 50 miles south and coincidentally, through Facebook and online blogging, I met Mama J and have been blessed to follow along in her adventure with her amazing family. I recently found out she attends Grandma and Grandpa Genius' church. Say what?! It's a small world...

Well, three years ago, when we began our journey, the world didn't seem so small. In fact, it felt ginormous, overwhelming...almost too much to bear. Our boy had slipped away right before our eyes. All we were ever taught about healing and sickness seemed irrelevant, a lie. We were so confused, hurt, and sad at some of the responses to our son's situation. We took him to the alter and the elders laid hands on him...no healing. We were told by some he wasn't being healed because of our lack of faith. What? Wrong.

Why, Lord? What have we done? Grant us mercy, Lord...grant him mercy Lord. Heal him. Make him whole. By His stripes he is healed. We claim this in Jesus' name. This was our prayer. This was what we held on to...it both sustained us and drove us from God. We went through a season where we didn't know exactly how to feel. All we had been taught...it was as if it was...a lie. 

30 Days of Thankfulness

On day 2 of November I decided to take part in the 30 days of thankfulness. I knew from the beginning that I would have a hard time doing it on time and that I would probably end up doing multiple days at once at times, but figured it would be good to get partially back into the habit that I had from the beginning of LM's page. When I first started his page every night before I would go to bed I would share something that I was happy LM did or that I was thankful for. With such a busy schedule and late bedtimes where I passed out about the same time as LM it made it more difficult to keep up on it and soon I stopped doing it. Here is the 30 days of thankfulness(encase anyone missed some of it or all of it or just want to review them all together):

First Post:

Day 1: I am thankful for my husband who is hard working, loving, understanding, and a great father which brings me to Day 2: I am thankful for my son who is absolutely wonderful just the way he is, even with the challenges. He is smart, loving, he is my guide on this autism journey.

Second Post:

Day 3 and Day 4:  I am thankful to have found swimming for my son since it helps with his tantrums and meltdowns. With that I am also thankful for such a great instructor (who cares for Josiah so much and absolutely loves his job) and program that we found. I am thankful for ISR because it teaches self-rescue, so he can save himself in the event that he ever jumps into the water that he always finds so interesting. He also had no fear of it in the past and now has grown to have respect for it (like not just jumping in for a toy that he wants or getting in a pool that no one is in).

Third Post:

Guess I have to do thankfulness days 5,6, and 7 now. 5: thankful we can put food on the table. Even if it is rice vs rice noodles because we just can not afford the 6$ box of spaghetti noodles. Yes, sometimes being GF sucks because there are limited places to go out to eat and most are expensive, just like the food in the stores, but in the end our health is better for it and that is the best thing. 6: I am really thankful that we were able to get a scholarship at the the place that LM swims at because it is hard enough to get the 37.5 a month and really do not think we would be able to get the 75 a month that it would otherwise cost without the scholarship. To go with this I am grateful that a couple of people were able to donate some money towards his swimming which has helped out with paying the monthly fee. 7: I am extremely grateful that medicaid and our insurance together has covered the ABA costs. Which is 160 a day, 5 days a week. We are still praying that we are accepted for SSI because that would help pay for all of the other medical bills that are pilled up and other costs we have. I would be over the top thankful if we got that. I can promise everyone that we are not in such a bad money crunch because we are bad at budgeting or live outside our means. I live with my dad and pay rent because we can't afford the rent of an apartment. We only have cable bc other's want it in the house so we split the bill three ways. We never go out to eat(it is just not affordable being gluten free). We do not go out to movies or anything like that. The main things we do for fun are free or we take advantage of stuff we already have to have like the pass to the pool(if Josiah did not need this, we just would not have it). We do have a car payment, but since hubby drives 30 min to 45 min back and forth to work 5 days a week we needed a good reliable used car and not a crappy used car. We do have a cell phone bill, but don't have a house phone. We cloth diaper so there is no diaper cost.

Fourth Post:

Day 8: I am thankful for this FB page and blog with all of you awesome people on it! Thankful for the comments, likes and support that comes with the page. The ability to connect with other moms of your children with autism or just people who love to support people/families with autism. So thank you everyone!

Fifth Post:

Day 9: I am really thankful that I have a camera to take pictures. As you can probably tell I love taking pictures of my son and you can for sure tell the difference between the ones taken with my phone and those taken with my regular camera. We saved money from Christmas, my birthday which was in March, and with a little tax time help, my hubby not only replaced the camera that I had before that no longer worked, but actually got me an awesome upgrade to it! It was a really happy time to see the new camera, so although I am not very materialistic, I love my camera because it can help me capture so many wonderful moment's in my son's life.

Sixth Post:

Day 10: I am thankful for a church that we can volunteer in. I am thankful that they offer the amenities that they do: a special need a room where my son van feel safe and comfortable and a parent child room that we can do in if he isn't having a good day in class or sanctuary, so we can still enjoy service while he can play.

Seventh Post:

Day 11: I am thankful for all the troops. I am thankful I have friends and family: 5 uncles, an uncle in law, an aunts, an aunt in law, a cousin, a cousin in law, a grandparent in law, a brother in law, a step father in law, a great grandpa, and a great grandparent in law who has served in the Navy, Army, Marines, National Guard, and Air Force in times of piece and in WWII, Vietnam and Iraq. I am also thankful for the family who have served in a different way as sheriffs, police officers and firefighters.

Eighth Post:

Feeling really drained and stomach not feeling the best, so the debate comes as to stay home or go to school....I think school. Home I will have a toddler jumping all over me. Which reminds me I am behind on my days of thankfulness. Need to do 12, 13, and now 14. Day 12: I am thankful for school where I can learn more about 1. God (go to a Christian college) 2. more about early childhood 3. get to take extra classes in art like: pottery which I already did and next semester it is photography. 4. also thankful that because I am going to school I can go hide there from my toddler to maybe feel a little bit better when I get home because going to class right now is the only break I will get. Day 13: I am thankful that I was able to continue breastfeeding my son even through all of the tough times. It was a lot of hard work to do what I felt was best for him and to continue to do so with support from some and negativity from others. Day 14: I am thankful for my 12 year old cat, that I got when I was 12. He is so patient and kind with Josiah. He puts up with so much from him and still comes around and still lets Josiah touch him. I am thankful that he was there with me for years through all kinds of ups and downs in my life. I am a little sad he is getting up in age now, but will enjoy every day, week and year I have left with him and getting to see him and Josiah love each other.

Ninth Post:

Day 15, 16, and 17: I will start with something that just happened as #15 Thankful there is not a whole in the side of the house as we just had our very own earthquake caused by a tree falling down and hitting the side of the house. Not seeing any leaks, no broken windows, smashed our new gutters though. Now we just need to find someone with a chain saw, so we can be thankful for the borrowed equipment and or help. #16 Is thankful that Josiah learned his colors. If you say can you hand me the ___ M&M he can do it, but if you say what color is this M&M he won't tel you the color. If you say the name of the color he can repeat it back to us. #17 Really thankful for cloth diapers because we can just wash and reuse instead of spending a ton of money on diapers. Otherwise we would be going through so many diapers lately IDK what we would do. We honestly could not could not afford diapers anyways.

Tenth Post:

An update and then my days of thankfulness are at the end: Yay! so we did end up getting medicaid to pick up LM's ABA cost that was not covered by our insurance. We are thankful we have insurance and medicaid bc otherwise ABA is 160 a day, 5 days a week. We also just might be getting SSI. We got a call saying we would temporary receive some benefits(IDK if this month or next as we still have more papers to fill out about rent and how much Jason receives in wages) while waiting for the medical side to approve him, we are hopeful that the medical side will approve him and we will continue to get benefits. We are aware some people started receiving and then got denied and stopped getting payment and had to reapply then get approved. I am praying we are not one of those cases. The benefits we receive will be much appreciated, as we have a TON of unpaid medical bills for things that are just not covered by insurance or medicaid(in LM's case). We also have other monthly medical expenses like LM's drink thinkener every month that is of course even though it is needed to keep him out of the hospital is not considered medical. We are not sure of the amount we will be getting yet, but anything will help. I am hoping we have enough to help pay of medical bills and make it a little easier to afford rent, food and Josiah's swimming pass at kroc. We also are reapplying for food stamps in hopes that we do not have to say well we can not get that extra stuff LM needs bc we can not afford it this week(so once we are officially approved for SSI and or food stamps we need to get back with the other and let them know we are receiving the other one). Kind of behind on my days of thankfulness as well have 18, 19, 20, 21, and 22 to do. I will say 18 and 19 are pretty much covered by medicaid and temp SSI which is still helpful even if we do not get full approval right now. Day 20: Thankful for a warm roof over my head Day 21: Thankful for my dad who helps to get us some places after Jason goes to work, so we do not always have to take the bus. Day 22: Thankful for people who accept my son for who he is and love him. So thank you to all the family, friends, people on this page who don't have to care about LM but make the choice to. I am thankful that Lolo plays with LM when he is swimming with Michael (swim instructor) and that they both care so much about him and that LM cares about and even misses them both when he is not swimming with him. I am sure Josiah can not wait until he gets to see Lolo again.

Eleventh Post:

Day 23 and 24 of thankfulness: Day 23 I am thankful for the overtime hubby has been getting lately, will make Christmas a bit easier. Day 24: I am thankful that the new really cheap waterproof phone cover not only tested well phone free before hand but took amazing video today at the pool. Going to have to upload to YouTube to share with everyone in the page.

Twelfth Post:

Day 25: I am thankful I have a husband who can cook. he made some yummy pizza and I do not mean he threw a frozen pizza in the oven. I mean made the dough then added toppings and placed in oven. Josiah loved it so much he was made his fork was not working for him so he would take some pieces out to eat and other times he had his face right in the bowl eating.

Last few days of thankfulness:

Day 26-30. Day 26: Thankful LM is too young to realize that one of the fish died. Day 27: Thankful we were able to find and successfully make a crestless pumpkin pie. Day 28: Thankful we were able to spend time with Jason's family for thanksgiving and that Josiah had fun. Josiah might have not ate much, but he still enjoyed seeing his uncles, papa, nana and a cousin. Day 29: Thankful I was able to spend some time with my sister and mother and get some really great deals in the process. Got things for a price I would rather spend on items then what is normally expected for items we were in need of for Christmas or just otherwise in need of, like socks. Day 30: Thankful LM  was so great with helping put up ornaments and let mommy clean the tree(had to clean each individual branch bc it was never in a container when put in the basement last year). Also, thankful that when he found and held a glass bulb too tight that he did not actually get a piece of glass in his hand.