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Showing posts with label PDD-NOS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PDD-NOS. Show all posts

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Stimming-What is it?

This is a really short simple blog post.

Well the definition of it is...

According  to the urban dictionary:
"Stim, stims or stimming is short for "self stimulation". Almost everyone does it(tapping feet, cracking knuckles, twiddling thumbs), but in autistic people these behaviors are more pronounced and may seem downright strange. Autistic people often engage in stimming when they are stressed, to self regulate and sometimes to express emotion.

Common autistic stims are: rocking back and forth, headbanging(not the music kind), finger flicking/rippling, spinning, humming, repeating words or sounds and complex body contortions.

Good music makes me stim a lot. Stimming shouldn't be discouraged, it's a means for me to understand my environment."

What does it look like?

For different people it can look like different things.

For me it could look like any one of these:


  • Foot bouncing 
  • Leg bouncing 
  • Foot rocking  (heel on ground and foot swaying back and forth) 
  • Rubbing tips of finger together 
  • Pressing or tapping tips of finger together 
  • Rubbing finger nail with tip of finger slow or fast like flicking
  • Rubbing legs with my hand
  • Pressure on legs or arms
  • Playing with my necklace in all kinds of ways. Like moving the pendent back and forth across the chain. Putting it in my mouth between teeth or placing my lips in the open part of the puzzle. Rubbing the necklace across my lips.
  • Rubbing my cheek with a finger or scarf or other clothing or blanket.
  • Putting hair or clothing in front of my nose and mouth. 
  • Until I was 10 I sucked my thumb.
  • Making figure eights with my feet together. Heel of one foot comes between heel and front of other foot and then other and over and over it goes.
  • I don't often chew gum because it becomes really hard to stop and I tend to do it not so quietly. 
  • Scratching. 
  • Tightening and loosening individual muscles. 
  • Scrunching up toes then straightening out.
  • If I am wearing a ponytail holder on my wrist, pulling it back and releasing it. 
  • Pulling on my ear lobes.
  • Rubbing on my ear lobes
  • Finger tapping 
  • Finger twitching 
  • Hand flapping 
  • Jumping up and down
  • Letting out a sound(sound varies)
  • Rubbing tongue on teeth
  • Rubbing tongue on roof of mouth
  • Rubbing nose
  • Humming
  • Humming not a tune but a single low sound
  • Singing
  • Spinning my wedding band
  • Petting Midnight our cat
  • Twirling finger around Midnight's ear
  • Tip toe walking
  • I always climb stairs on my tip toes
  • Pacing when talking on the phone-I am talking miles of steps when it is a long conversation
  • Baths


For Josiah it can look like any of these:

  • Head butting floor or wall
  • Ticking his tongue
  • Smacking his lips
  • Biting his hand
  • Biting his clothes
  • Chewing on a chewy
  • Playing with his nose
  • He used to pull at his eye lashes
  • Petting Midnight our cat
  • Playing with Midnight's fur between his fingers
  • Tip toe walking
  • Pinching himself
  • Spinning around
  • Walking in circles
  • Hiding under the couch cushion
  • Hiding in pile of stuffed animals
  • Throwing himself backwards
  • Chewing on the palms of his hand
  • Climbing up or on things
  • Jumping off of things
  • He also fancies using elevators and escalator 
  • Licking glass
  • Rubbing his forehead down glass
  • Jumping on trampoline
  • Running around nearly naked or naked
  • Swimming or bath-swimming wins for best
  • Tongue sticking out
  • Licking bottom lip-sometimes to chapped
  • Lining things up
  • Toe sucking
Some of the major ways we stim differently is I do not actually cause harm to myself when stimming and mine are usually less noticeable then when he does it.


Monday, October 20, 2014

An Endeavor Well Worth It

One early Saturday morning or late Friday night depending on how you wanted to look at it was when we called our friends and family to come and join us. Music played in the background while we talked about all kinds of things and patiently waited for the big moment. We all watched the sunrise, through the window of the medium sized room that we sat in. Everyone was excited, but also calm and relaxed. My husband, mother, sister, closest friend, and sister-in-law were all there beside me the whole time and for a short time my brother-in-law and my sister’s friend even stopped by. After what seemed like forever on that beautiful Saturday morning, July 9th, 2011, my life changed forever when I gave birth to a five pounds ten once boy. It was great to finally have him in my arms. The problem free pregnancy (besides him being born a month early) and easy, pain free, natural labor was sadly not a sign of what was to come next.

The first week of his life he was healthy. He didn’t have to go to the NICU or even have jaundice. However, one thing after another happened after that. We first encountered projectile vomiting almost every time he ate. We tried multiple medicines for acid reflux and nothing worked. He was tested by ultrasound for pyloric stenosis, a stomach condition that requires surgery or death. My tiny baby was not allowed to eat, which was heartbreaking. He was laid on a regular sized bed which made him seem smaller. Then the tech used the smallest tool for the ultrasound which engulfed his abdominal area. They decided after testing that had a dairy intolerance. I cut dairy out of my diet and he got better. By the time he was four months he started to have difficulties breastfeeding and had even more problems with a bottle. This was a very painful time emotionally and physically for me. I endured toe curling pain for my child. We soon learned the issue was caused by a tongue tie and lip tie. It took until he was six months to get them clipped. There were no immediate changes and since he had no weight gain while waiting to get them clipped and weight loss after we were referred for feeding therapy. I continued my classes again when he was six months old, so doing feeding therapy and my classes was a lot for those three months. I learned to manage my time well. When he turned eleven months he was old enough to have his hypospadias surgery that fixed the deformation of his penis. During the surgery I paced anxiously. Two hours later the urologist came and got us. He said everything went well. I had roommates who criticized me for putting him through surgery and for getting his partial foreskin hood removed, but I pushed through as I knew what was best for him. We celebrated his first year and we hoped for better years to come.

Even through all of the pain and suffering that we endured as a family, my husband and I would never trade it for not having had him. Soon after his first birthday, we were still having acid reflux issues and added to that an aspiration issue when drinking liquids. This was discovered, though an x-ray which they strapped him down and he screamed and I could not help him because he needed the test. We had to get drink thickeners, it was really expensive, but for the safety of my child the sacrifice was made. He had leg x-rays, which again he screamed with, when he finally started walking at 16 months because he was walking with a strange gate. Thankfully nothing was wrong. I joked with my son that he was not allowed to have anything else to go wrong because mommy wanted a break from medical exams. My heart broke when he had to go through all of it and I knew he hated it, too. I started to notice social and emotional differences in him before he turned a year old and I just assumed it was because he was born early. When he was eighteen months we made an appointment at Hope Network Center for Autism. This started us on a whole new journey that began two months later.

The biggest life changing thing that happened to me besides having a child, was hearing that he has autism and that it would be a lifelong disability with a varying possibilities of functioning. It was not a life changer in that my son changed. He was the same child that I wanted so badly after I had a miscarriage and he was the child I loved and wanted so much after he was born and the child I still wanted when we went through all the difficulties his first two years of life. It was an internal emotional change that happened. I went through a time when I grieved for the loss of what my child may have become. When you have a child, you have all these hopes and dreams of who they may become and what they may do and then you hear that it might not happen; that they might not get to do all that you dreamed or hoped for, it crushes you. Not because they made the choice, but because they have a lifelong disability that prevents them from making that decision. After I went through the process I came to the wonderful side of acceptance. I loved and accepted him for who he was now, not who he might become someday, or the growth he might or might not make. I accepted him for exactly as God made him. I accepted him for all of his difficulties, not knowing what his strengths might be someday. I loved him and still wanted him. He was completely mine and I would not want to trade him or get rid of him, he was still what I wanted.

Having a child with autism was one of the most meaningful and special things that has happened in my life. My life may not be the easiest, but we all have struggles; No matter if you have a child who has a disability or a child that doesn’t, whether you go to school, go to work, work as a stay at home parent they all have their challenges, different challenges, but they still have their challenges. In some people’s eyes, I was seen as a super mom for all I had done, but with my own eyes I had not always seen it. I did what was needed to help my son function daily and strived to get school work and house work done. Having a child with autism uncovered a whole new part of me. It first started with my ability to stand up for my son and what he needed. The road to getting his diagnoses of autism was not quick and easy we were told by early on they would not diagnose him because he was not old enough. His pediatrician was thankfully not of that same mindset. I learned to stick up for the fact that what was happening was not just a tantrum or that he was in any way spoiled, but that he was having a sensory overload meltdown. This in return taught me to stick up for myself, my parenting and other choices in my life. Through learning how to stand up for myself and my son and what was best for him and our family I had many friends recommend that I should share our story of that and swimming to help inspire others in many ways. Inspire them to fight for the diagnoses, to fight for their child’s needs (a child with autism has sensory needs along with the normal needs) to educate themselves on their child’s needs because with understanding comes patients, which was another thing that I learned from my son, to find what helps meet their child’s sensory needs and what helps to stimulate them in a good way and what over stimulates them, and to just otherwise show that they are not alone and you can fully love and accept your child with autism.

I took the advice of my friends and created a blog titled Just Josiah J. -Autism Adventures (this blog). It started simply enough by being shared with friends and family. I started talking about our adventures in swimming and then branched out to talking more about autism as well as myself. The blog has now had close to 9,500 views. Shortly after I started the blog, I found it would be easier to share it with strangers who wanted to know more about swimming and autism if I created a Facebook page this would also let everyone know there were new blog posts. I was able to use the page to share little updates and pictures from when we went swimming and other adventures we went on. The page started out small with just mainly friends and family and it has grown to nearly 2,000 people. I had gotten comments about how the page or blog has helped others learn what autism was and gave them understanding and acceptance of those with autism and from other parents who I had helped in many ways. About a year later I created a local support group because the Grand Rapids area did not have a parent group online. This had helped nearly two hundred fifty moms and dads, we had just recently expanded the group to not just moms, but dads too. I was glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone and created the local support group because I got comments all the time about how helpful it had been to just be able to talk to other parents and get ideas on how to deal with different behaviors.

The best gift of all of from this whole journey, besides having a wonderful son and getting to help many people, was that I discovered even more about myself. I discovered through my walk through the world of autism that I was on the autism spectrum, too. It answered so many questions to why I thought differently and why my senses were a lot different from other people. When I found out it was an ah ha moment and was such a relief to know what makes me the way I was. I was glad to have gotten a better understanding of myself and my son. Not a perfect understanding because each person with autism is as different from each other, as each person who does not have autism is from each other.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Good Parenting VS Bad Parenting

When you become a parent you are suddenly are opened up to criticism from all. There are ideals for what makes a good parent. Do this,that or the other and you are a good parent. As in follow instructions like you are putting together a dresser. There all kinds of things that people tell you to do that will make you a good parent and things that you do that can make you a bad parent.

Good: Give your child plenty of fruits and veggies. Read so many books a day. Child reaching milestones on time/learning certain things at certain times. Spend x amount of time with your child each day doing x, y and z.

Bad: Too much junk food. Too much TV. Too much electronics anything.

This is just a small list because it is not even necessary to list these things so much in the first place. This is not even going into any other parenting choices like natural or crunchy choices. Just the basic everyday parenting stuff. If you think about it though, do these things actually make you a good or bad parent? Does following a set of instructions that you read or are told to do to your child or don't do with your child is what makes you a good or bad parent? I guess every child is the same then. They are just waiting for you to follow your instructions for you to be a good parent, so they can be a good child?

Now there are some basics like children shouldn't be abused, should be clothed, fed, have shelter, and love. I am a firm believer that if a child has their basic needs met like listed in the first sentence of this paragraph that instead of following some set of instructions you follow your child. Look at them and let them lead the way to how they learn and how they prosper. Everything is not as black and white/good and bad as some people believe. Their are gray areas.

Becoming a mom of a child with special needs has taught me that. I do not believe this is only true for special needs children, but for all. As a society today we are taught we must spend loads of time with our children to combat the fact that most people spend all their time on gadgets and not engaging with what is actually right in front of them. Some children do not prosper well and seem to be smothered by full attention all day long and others prosper from it.

Lets use Josiah for example. Now he has not met all standard milestones for his age, but he has met all the milestones expected of him. He has grown and grown beyond the bounds expected of him. His pediatrician is shocked and surprised at his growth. She even said with him in front of her that day she might have not given recommendation for getting him therapy. He has grown so much that in the future he might not need the help that he has needed in the past. His therapy is shocked at his growth and KNOW how we have worked with him at home. Every professional we work with that has known him for years talk about how we work so hard with him. To be honest the "work" we do with him does not seem that hard in deed, but instead have been doing what works for him not using what we think he needs to get where we think he should be. Following his lead on how he learns and how he grows and in his own time has been what has got us to where we are.

Sure he eats more chicken nuggets then he should, but he is staying on his own growth curve. He is not loosing weight because we think he should eat something that he might not eat. A year ago it was manly fruits and veggies and I could not get him to eat meat. Now he eats so many chicken nuggets and has cut back on the fruits and veggies. He is still growing he is still learning. He is maturing. We make offers of food and what he eats is what he eats. As a child with autism and particulars within himself I am not going to go with parenting advice of hold out and wait until he eats x, y,or z. He will eat when he is hungry. Well you see there is a problem with that as many children with autism have issues with telling if they are hungry or not. We have to tell Josiah it is meal time and ask if he wants something to eat and allow him to choose from what we have to offer. Chicken nuggets are always a choice and so are always there if he decides that what was cooked or what is for leftovers is not fitting for him at that moment. He gets his food and he eats it on his own time. Sometimes then and sometimes a bit latter.

When it is time to clean up he cleans up and he helps and he participates in our daily life of cooking and cleaning and is a part of everything we do. That being said he also gets time to himself. He is and introvert and naturally gets his energy from being alone and not with someone. If I was to follow his every move and constantly be talking to him and playing with him and coming up with things we should do, well he would burn out and I would burn out as we are both introverts. We both enjoy our time together and we also enjoy our time alone.Sometimes Josiah's time alone is playing with toys and other times it is electronics.

He loves to watch videos on garbage trucks and how different things work and move. I can not teach him what I do not know and although we could read a book together about things(which we have) watching a video seeing the visual of it all is how Josiah learns the best. He gets out his toy trucks and mimics what is going on with the big trucks. Repeating new words about new names of things I never knew about. We sometimes sit together and talk about what he is watching or what I am watching or doing. From watching even shows like Dr. Who Josiah has learned so much. He says what is that and I explain what it is. His therapy has said this is very good the accidental learning from environment is what they strive and work for. They want kids to learn from everything around them not just a certain time when they are expected to pick up and learn things.

I have been told by some that my parenting style makes me a bad parent. I have been told by many professions that they can tell that we do a lot with him in the right time and the right way. He is able to pick up on it and mature into him. Not just a cookie cutter expectation. There have been people impressed with his progress/maturity, his manners, his behavior, and just anything in general. Now I nor my husband can take full credit for his growth because like I said before he has shown us the way, he has lead us to learning what helps him to learn. My education and knowledge has helped some, but Josiah added the finishing touches. If he learns best form a visual he views by himself that is great. If he invites me to come and join in his learning that is wonderful. If I push that something is about learning more then fun and he breaks down and either grows board or is thrown into a meltdown how does that help anyone?

I look forward to seeing how Josiah grows and matures and how he becomes him. How he becomes himself. I am his parent not a parent of another child. I do not know what works for your child or your family. I just know what works for my child and as he is meeting all of his goals and is a very happy(for the most part, he is a child so he is not always happy with choices) and healthy child I would hope that what works for us is respected by others. If it isn't I guess your opinion doesn't matter in the first place and does not make the difference in the happiness level of our home. Josiah will be guided and taught towards become a wonderful person and we will respect that he is a wonderful child right now. We do not just focus on the future outcome, but in what is right in front of right now.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Swimaversary Part Three

SLEEP

The title is almost all I need. Swimming has helped us with sleep. That is almost all I have to say as sleep is such a crucial thing that not all of us get what we need and it is even hard to come by with an autistic child. For the sake of this blog post being longer and just to give more detail I will share more.

Josiah started swimming and therapy at the sometime so like all things it is hard to piece out what is the cause to the effect. We have been to a sleep Dr. and know that his sleep issues are purely behavioral or at least there is no medical thing such as sleep apnea or swollen glands or anything like that causing it.

 Well, what has helped us sort out the sleep thing is that he has not had swimming while still doing therapy and had not had therapy while doing swimming. When he has therapy and no swimming his sleep is still bad. He takes forever to fall asleep and he wakes up several times at night. We have gone almost a month without swimming and he has bad sleep whole time. Now while swimming and therapy we did start hylands sleep aid (after swimming started) in disovables for young kids. That helped increase his staying asleep, but as soon as swimming stopped we had issues. When we started swimming back up with the other two the sleep aid and therapy we were good and getting enough sleep even if it is still not the normal amount.

Then we took off of therapy for almost the whole week and instead was doing swimming with this sleep increased again. We have tried baths, staying outside for long periods of time and all kinds of other things to replace swimming and there just seems to not be a good replacement for swimming with him. Swimming is Josiah's thing, so I am happy it makes him happy and helps with so much. We have since stopped hylands sleep aid and have switched to essential oils for sleep. That is for another blog post and will have to share about that soon. Our hopes with the oils is that if we can't go swimming daily that he can still sleep. I still will plan on doing lots of swimming with him as it helps him in so many other areas other then sleep.

Here is part one which was on self control and part two which was on cognitive development encase you missed them.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Swimaverasry Part Two

Cognitive Development

It is hard to gauge cognitive development other then progress. Josiah has been making strides and bound in what he has been learning. Now Josiah did begin swimming and ABA therapy at the same time and it is hard to say what has had the most affect on his cognitive development between the two. All I know is that his ABA therapists are extremely impressed with his progress and have the hardest time keeping up with him. They are creating new programs for him all the time as he blows through most of them. He went from not talking or babbling at 20 months to shortly after expressing simple needs, to now he is fully capable of having conversations. CONVERSATIONS a little more then a year and he has not only started to talk, but in some areas he has surpassed his age. In ONE year he has gone from less then half his age to having some language above a 3 year old and he is not even three yet. I am amazed and impressed with his growth and maturity and ability to learn all the time. He is sometimes way to smart for his own good, but he IS smart and he keeps showing how smart he is all the time. I have always said that he was super smart and that we just did not know it. Like he was unable to show us how smart he is and now he can. I love and enjoyed him before he could talk, but know that he is much happier now that he can not only express his needs. We are less stressed because he is able to answer us on what he needs before it turns into a meltdown over frustration, but above all HE is happier, less stressed and more expressive then he has ever been before. There has even been a study on kids kids who swim which the results can be viewed below:

For those of you who can not view the video click here.
Another way to see that he has had cognitive development besides his ability to learn, his increase in language both receptive and expressive, is his memory. I am always impressed with his memory. He can remember great details about things not only days, weeks, but even months after the event. He sees something and it triggers a reaction in his brain and he can start talking about details of something that has happened so long ago that even I didn't quite have it in the top of my head ready to go. Three months after reviving a bag with ornaments in it from his swim instructor I set up our autism tree. The ornaments were out of the bag and there were other bags out. He picked out that specific empty bag and told he who gave it to him and what was in it. When showing his swim instructor the bag he did not even remember that it was the bag that he had given us the ornaments in. One day my dad had said he needs a clip for something and Josiah takes off and gets his gerbils car. We had no clue why he got the car until we realized their was a clip on the bottom of it where the wheel broke off. The clip was stuck on the car two months before and had only used the car maybe one other time before then. This is just two examples of his memory out of many more. He has also shown cognitive development in his learning of colors, shapes, and counting to ten. He has also learned to count actual objects which is different then counting to ten. He can sing part of the alphabet song and in most cases identify letters of the alphabet. All of this from not talk a little over a year ago! There is a  wonderful explanation that I will quote from charlotteaquatics.com: "A baby’s brain develops through bilateral cross patterning movements like swimming, crawling, and walking. The more cross patterning movements, the more nerve fibers develop in the corpus callosum - the part of the brain that facilitates communication, feedback, and modulation from one side of the brain to the other. Cross patterning movements like swimming activate both cerebral hemispheres and all four lobes of the brain simultaneously, which can result in heightened cognition and increased ease of learning." Another great quote about neurological development is "The child experiences a great deal of tactile stimulation from the water resistance over the entire body while swimming which encourages neurological development. Water has over 600 times the resistance of air. Tactile experiences and interactions in the water are important for overall neural organization."

Here is part one on self-control encase you missed it.
Here is also part three which is on sleep.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Swimaversary Part One

On April 8th, 2014 Josiah has been swimming for a year. We decided to celebrate his swimaversary with some other pages. I mentioned that it has changed his and our life/lives forever. I wanted to go in more detail with what I mean by that. I have talked about swimming and loving it in several posts. I have not gotten down and talked strictly about the benefits and how it has helped. I will share what I viewed and even share some links for things that are not so visible that I have learned through information I have learned over time. I will also share each of these in a separate blog no matter how long or short so the whole thing will not become overwhelming to read all in one blog post. :)

*ok I started this shortly after his swim aversary, but with no swimming, end of semester craziness, and a few other things that have pushed it to the sidelines I am just now getting to writing more on it*

Self Control 


I will start with the first one we noticed. Better self control. This was seen through a couple of changes. The first thing that he started began when he was 11 months old. He started climbing to high heights for his age and it was not only a daily, but multiple times a day kind of thing. He did not even start walking until he was 16 months because of course why walk when you can climb everything. His climbing started to lessen and become not as common of a occurrence in the house. The second think that became less of an issue I have already posted about in the blog post Sometimes I Forget, which goes into great detail about how his tantrums and meltdowns had lessened with swimming/had been almost no existent. The only case when they would show up is when he had an outside source that would trigger it. He used to have meltdowns/self harm due to lack of activity. This is one of the reasons we have so many toys for him to choose from. He always has to be busy doing something. If he gets board he gets into self harm. Biting himself leaving marks, pinching, throwing himself on floor, head butting the floor or walls. He will bite chairs, games, toys or other objects when he is board or angry. All of this calmed down with swimming and picks back up every time we stop swimming. We have been off for three weeks now and he has hit another kid at therapy, threw a toy towards someone there and has picked up increased anger outburst at home as well. Kroc center has started their new hours so I am extremely thankful for that. Sadly we can not start this week because of me. Without going into too much detail I will just say I do not feel well and AF is not so nice this month.

Any parent I am sure can tell you self control in a little one is hard and any ASD parent can tell you it is a huge thing. Self control over outbursts(the ones that can be controlled) is just really HUGE. I was so relieved that I was not as worried about another self harm episode being around the corner. With less self harm and him more aware of his surroundings as he was not going into constant meltdowns he began to learn/grow/mature. He was picking things up at an astounding rate and still is which brings us to another benefit that I will talk about next...

Cognitive Development

Part three is on sleep (link also available at bottom of part two if you want to go in order they were written).

Monday, March 31, 2014

What Do I Need to Know about IEPs?-Information on IEPs Inside

(Information from a book geared toward teatchers, but has lots of information)

Individualized Education Program 

IEP is “the heart of IDEA” and “the make or break component of FAPE for every child with a disability” (Bateman & Herr, 2006, p. 10). IDEA requires that educators develop and implement an IEP for each student with disabilities between the ages of 3 and 21. (Educators develop an  individualized family service plan [IFSP] for each infant and toddler [from birth through age 2] with disabilities.) IDEA is specific about who is to develop the IEP and what it must include. IEP Team Each IEP must be the product of the collaborative efforts of the members of an  IEP team, the membership of which is specified in IDEA as the following:
The term “individualized education program team” or “IEP Team” means a group of individuals composed of—
1.  The parents of a child with a disability

2.  not less than 1 regular education teacher of the child (if the child is, or may be, participating in the regular education environment);

3.  not less than 1 special education teacher, or where appropriate, at least 1 special education provider of the child;

4.  a representative of the local education agency who—
(i)  is qualified to provide, or supervise the provision of, specially designed instruction to meet the unique needs of children with disabilities;
(ii)  is knowledgeable about the general curriculum; and
(iii)  is knowledgeable about the availability of resources of the local education agency;

5.  an individual who can interpret the instructional implications of evaluation results, who may be a member of the team described in clauses (2) through (6);

6.  at the discretion of the parent or the agency, other individuals who have knowledge or special expertise regarding the child, including related service personnel as appropriate; and

7.  Whenever appropriate, the child with a disability. (PL 108-446, Sec. 614 [d][1][B])

IEP Components 

 Each IEP must include the following seven components:
1.  A statement of the child’s present levels of academic achievement and functional performance, including—
(a)  how the child’s disability affects the child’s involvement and progress in the general education curriculum;
(b)  for preschool children, as appropriate, how the disability affects the child’s participation in appropriate activities; and
(c)  for children with disabilities who take alternate assessments aligned to alternate achievement standards, a description of benchmarks or short-term objectives;

2.  A statement of measurable annual goals, including academic and functional goals, designed to—
(a)  meet the child’s needs that result from the child’s disability to enable the child to be involved in and make progress in the general education curriculum; and
(b)  meet each of the child’s other educational needs that result from the child’s disability;

3.  A description of how the child’s progress toward meeting the annual goals described in subclause (2) will be measured and when periodic reports on the progress the child is making toward meeting the annual goals (such as through the use of quarterly or other periodic reports, concurrent with the issuance of report cards) will be provided;

4.  A statement of the special education and related services and supplementary aids and services, based on peer-reviewed research to the extent practicable, to be provided to the child, or on behalf of the child, and a statement of the program modifications or supports for school personnel that will be provided for the child—
(a)  to advance appropriately toward attaining the annual goals;
(b)  to be involved in and make progress in the general education curriculum in accordance with sub-clause (1) and to participate in extracurricular and other nonacademic activities; and
(c)  to be educated and participate with other children with disabilities and non-disabled children in the activities described in this sub-paragraph;

5.  An explanation of the extent, if any, to which the child will not participate with nondisabled children in the regular class and in the activities described in sub-clause (4)(c);

6.  (a) a statement of any individual appropriate accommodations that are necessary to measure the academic achievement and functional performance of the child on State and district wide assessments consistent with section 612(a)(16)(A); and
(b) if the IEP Team determines that the child shall take an alternate assessment on a particular State or district wide assessment of student achievement, a statement of why—
(aa) the child cannot participate in the regular assessment; and
(bb)  the particular alternate assessment selected is appropriate for the child;

7.  The projected date for the beginning of the services and modifications described in subclause (4), and the anticipated frequency, location, and duration of those services and modifications. (PL 108-446, Sec. 614 [d][1][B])


IEPs for students age 16 and older must include information on how the child’s transition from school to adult life will be supported:   

8.  Beginning not later than the first IEP to be in effect when the child is 16, and updated annually thereafter—
(a)  appropriate measurable postsecondary goals based upon age appropriate transition assessments related to training, education, employment, and, where appropriate, independent living skills;
(b)  the transition services (including courses of study) needed to assist the child in reaching those goals; and
(c)  beginning not later than 1 year before the child reaches the age of majority under State law, a statement that the child has been informed of the child’s rights under this title, if any, that will transfer to the child on reaching the age of majority under section 615(m). (PL 108-446, Sec. 614 [d][1][A][i])

When developing a child’s IEP, the IEP team must consider the following factors:   

1.  General.    The IEP Team must consider
(i) the strengths of the child;
(ii) the concerns of the parents for enhancing the education of their child;
(iii) the results of the initial or most recent evaluation of the child; and
(iv) the academic, developmental, and functional needs of the child.

2.  Consideration of special factors.   The IEP Team must—
i.  In the case of a child whose behavior impedes the child’s learning or that of others, consider the use of positive behavioral interventions and supports, and other strategies, to address that behavior;
ii.  In the case of a child with limited English proficiency, consider the language needs of the child as those needs relate to the child’s IEP;
iii.  In the case of a child who is blind or visually impaired, provide for instruction in Braille and the use of Braille unless the IEP Team determines, after an evaluation of the child’s reading and writing skills, that instruction in Braille or the use of Braille is not appropriate for the child;
iv.  Consider the communication needs of the child, and in the case of a child who is deaf or hard of hearing, consider the child’s language and communication needs; and
v.  Consider whether the child needs assistive technology devices and services. (PL 108-446, Sec. 614 [d][3][A & B])

IEP Functions and Formats  

An IEP spells out where the child is, where she should be going, how she will get there, how long it will take, and how to tell if and when she has arrived. An IEP provides teachers and families with the  opportunity—and the responsibility—to first be realistic about the child’s needs and goals and then to be creative about how to meet them. Being realistic does not mean taking a pessimistic or limited view of the child’s current capabilities or potential to reach improved levels of academic achievement or functional performance; it means analyzing how specially designed instruction and related services can help the child get from her present levels of performance to future goals.  The IEP is also a measure of accountability for teachers and schools. Whether a particular school or educational program is effective will be judged, to some extent, by how well it is able to help children meet the goals and objectives set forth in their IEPs. Like other professionals, teachers are being called on to demonstrate effectiveness, and the IEP provides one way for them to do so. Although a child’s teacher and school cannot be prosecuted in the courts if the child does not achieve his IEP goals, the school  district is legally bound to provide the special education and related services identified in the IEP, and the school must be able to document that it made a conscientious and systematic effort to achieve those goals (Bartlett, Etscheidt, & Weisentstein, 2007; Wright, Wright, & O’Connor, 2010). IEP formats vary widely across school districts, and schools may exceed the requirements of the law and include additional information. Bateman and Linden (2006) cautioned against overreliance on standardized forms and computers for creating IEPs. “Forms by their very nature tend to interfere with true individualization. . . . [A] proper form will contain all the required elements in the simplest way possible, allowing for the most flexibility and creativity” (pp. 82–83).  Figure  2.3  shows portions of the IEP for Curt, a ninth grader and low achiever seen by the school district as a poorly motivated student with a disciplinary problem and a bad attitude. Curt’s parents see their son as a discouraged and frustrated student with learning disabilities, especially in written language.

IEP Problems and Potential Solutions 

Since its inception, the IEP process has been problematic. J. J. Gallagher (1984) wrote that the IEP is “probably the single most unpopular aspect of the law, not only because it requires a great deal of work, but also because the essence of the plan itself seems to have been lost in the mountains of paperwork” (p. 228). More than 20 years later, Bateman and Linden (2006) expressed a similar opinion: Sadly, many IEPs are horrendously burdensome to teachers and nearly useless to parents and children. Far from being a creative, flexible, data-based, and individualized application of the best of educational interventions to a child with unique needs, the typical IEP is “empty,” devoid of specific services to be provided, and its goals are often not measurable. (p. 87) Studies of actual IEPs seem to support such harsh descriptions. For example, Grigal and colleagues (1997) examined IEPs for high school students and found that transition-related goals included vague outcomes (e.g., “will think about best place to live,” “will explore jobs”), no evaluation procedures, and very few adaptations in activities or materials. Properly including all of the mandated components in an IEP is no guarantee that the document will guide the student’s learning and teachers’ teaching in the classroom, as intended by IDEA. Although most educators support the idealized concept of the IEP, inspection of IEPs often reveals inconsistencies between what is written on the document and the instruction that students experience in the classroom (S. W. Smith & Brownell, 1995).  Although IDEA requires parents to participate in IEP meetings and encourages student participation, research on parent and student involvement in the IEP process has produced mixed results (Test et al., 2004). In a study of 109 middle school and high school IEP meetings, Martin and colleagues (2006) concluded that students’ “presence can at best be viewed as tokenism because of the very low levels of student engagement and low student [expression of] opinions of their IEP meetings” (p. 197). On the bright side, numerous studies have shown that students with widely varying disabilities can learn to be actively involved in the IEP process, even to the point of leading the meeting (e.g., Arndt, Konrad, & Test, 2006; Kelley, Bartholomew, & Test, 2011; Martin, Van Dycke, et al., 2006). Some research suggests a positive correlation between students’ participation in the IEP process and academic achievement (Barnard-Brak & Lechtenberger, 2010). General education teachers also benefit from instruction in the IEP process. In a study of 393 middle school and high school IEP meetings, general education teachers rated themselves lower than all other IEP meeting participants, including students, on the extent to which they helped make decisions and knew what to do next (Martin, Huber Marshall, & Sale, 2004). General education teachers ranked second lowest (only to students) in knowing the reason for the meetings, talking at the meetings, feeling comfortable saying what they thought, understanding what was said, and feeling good about the meeting. Regardless of the level of parent and student participation, the appropriateness and measurability of the goals, and the IEP team’s satisfaction with the document, without instruction of the highest quality, many children with disabilities will make little progress. This reality led to the requirement in IDEA 2004 that teachers must use evidence-based practices (EBPs) to ensure their students receive the highest quality instruction. See Current Issues and Future Trends, “Evidence-Based Practice: Easier Said Than Done.”
Heward, William L. (2012-02-08). Exceptional Children: An Introduction to Special Education (10th Edition) (Page 60-63, 65-66). Pearson. Kindle Edition. 

If you have some other helpful information on IEPs feel free to share it in the comments :).

Thursday, March 13, 2014

How To Deal with Aggressive Behaviors in Children...

Ask Yourself: 

1. What happened prior to the event/behavior?
2. What noticeable physical signs did the child give?
3. What are the “Telltale signs?”
4. How do you respond to each child individually?

The States of Mind: 

1. The anxious state
2. The agitated state
3. The aggressive state
4. The assaultive state
5. The open state

The Anxious State: 


What Do You Look For?

• Be aware of each child’s individual cues.
• Telltale signs: Tears, blushing, clenching teeth, withdraw, whining, screaming etc.
• Feeling alone, confused, feeling conflicted.
• Children may say things such as “no one loves me, no one wants me, I’m no good, I don’t like it here” etc. • Our response can either take the child back to the competent state or they will move to the agitated state. 



How Do You Respond?

• Use door openers, gentle comments or questions.
• Ask open-ended questions.
• Validate and paraphrase the child’s thoughts and feelings.
• Reframe the child’s statements, making them more positive.
• Responding to the need within the child’s message.
• Pay attention to your tone of voice and your body language.

The Agitated State: 


What Do You Look For?

• If a parent/teacher does not respond to a child’s signs of anxiety a child’s behavior can move to agitation.
• There are 2 levels of agitated behavior: teaching response and limiting response.
• We need to understand the difference between the two before we respond.
• At the first level children are beginning to lose control, their strong emotions confuse their thinking and they don’t know how to handle their feelings. You can still respond at this level by teaching. At the second level the child is feeling antagonistic and no longer responds to what you are saying or doing.

2 Levels of Response


The Teaching Response: 

o Letting a child know their behavior is unacceptable and teaching what is acceptable.
o Be positive.
o The parents/teachers response should tell the child what TO DO, not what NOT to do.
o Use I-messages (I feel when you, not you make me )
o Avoid the Why questions.

The Limiting Response:

o Control is the issue here.
o At this stage a child can either move back to the competent state or go into an aggressive state.
o Education is no longer an issue, the issue is power.
o Your job is to create a win-win situation.
o Our goal at this level is to get children to stop, think and regain control.
o Two basic limiting responses: the interrupt or the options statement.
o The interrupt you interrupt what the child is doing/distract them in another way. An example a child is standing on the table and you get out a puzzle and talk aloud about how awesome the puzzle is and that you need someone to help you do the puzzle.
o The options statement is a ___ or ____ statement with the first part having what you want the child to do and the second half containing a consequence for not doing the first part. An example put away your toys or I will pick them up for you and they will be going away for the rest of the day.

The Aggressive State: 


What Do You Look For?

• The child is out of control.
• He or she doesn’t hear or understand anything you say.
• The behaviors are random.
• The actions aren't really directed at anyone.
• The aggression can be both verbal and physical.
• Reasoning no longer works.
• The child is driven by emotions.
• Have a goal in mind for this child at all times when he/she reaches this point.

How Do You Respond?

• You must use your non-verbal skills to communicate with the child and deescalate the behavior.
• The child is acutely aware of your physical presence and your body is your most useful tool. (don’t use your size to threaten!)
• Don’t let your emotions draw you into a power struggle. Stay calm!
• Distance yourself physically, don’t face the child directly and you might have to avoid eye contact.
• By doing these things, using your clear mind, your averted eyes just might surprise the child, interrupt his/her cycle and deescalate the behavior.

The Assaultive State: 


What Do You Look For?

• The child’s actions are no longer random.
• Even if you are not the cause of the behavior, you may become the target.
• This situation will require all of your verbal and non-verbal skills.
• Have an emergency plan that involves the others in the room.
• Be prepared to remove the other children or the child with the assaultive behaviors.
• Place yourself instead of other children in the room in her line of target.

 How Do You Respond?

• Have an emergency plan with other co-workers and if necessary with the other children in your classroom. • Practice this plan.
• Be prepared to move the other children because sometimes moving the child with the assaultive behaviors just adds fuel to the fire. 

The Open State:

• This is after a child is coming off an aggressive or assaultive state.
• This is a time for debriefing and for learning.
• The child will need some private time with you.
• Remember that the child is the focus and the child needs to do the talking.
• The child isn’t the only one who is vulnerable! Check your own emotions at this time too!

Simple techniques to help curb aggressive behaviors

Hands and feet on the wall.

o To do this, create a “safe spot” for the child with aggressive behaviors.
o Trace their hands and their feet and then laminate.
o Put their hands on the wall at their height and their feet on the floor.
o Any time they get aggressive tell them they can go stomp on their feet or press on their hands.
o If a child punches with a closed fist you may need to pad the wall.

Heavy lifting/weighted blankets

o Some children need to pick something up, move something, or have something heavy on their laps in order to concentrate.
o When using a weighted bucket give the child a specific task to complete. Not only does this give them a gross motor outlet but it allows the brain to concentrate on something else.
o Weighted blankets are good for children as well if they need help sitting still or keeping their hands to themselves.
o Deep tissue pressure works in some children.

Sensory boxes 

• Some children with aggressive tendencies benefit from time alone with a sensory box.
• In this box you will want items that:
o The child doesn’t have access to on a regular basis in the classroom
o Things that are just for that child o Things that are of different textures, sizes, shapes
o Items such as felt, a koosh ball, a tennis ball, cotton, fidget toys etc.
o Make the item personal for the child
• Some tools can be found here

Behavior modification techniques

• Visual cues and charts o Giving a child with aggressive tendencies visual cues or a visual chart to follow helps them to break the day down into small segments.

Transition puzzle

o To make a transition puzzle all you need is a piece of cardboard, like the bottom of a pizza box.
o Trace out the puzzle pieces and label each one a different transition that occurs on a daily basis that you want that child to master.
o As the child successfully completes the transition they get to add that piece of their puzzle.

*The book: Challenging Behavior in Young Children by Barbara Kaiser and Judy Rasminsky 2nd ed. was used as a guide*



Keys to becoming a parent/teacher who can handle the aggressive child (Dr. Becky Bailey, conscious Discipline)

• When a parent/teacher loses control NO ONE WINS.
• Parents/teachers should:
o Focus on what they want the child to accomplish
o Celebrate the child’s successes and choices
o See situations from the child’s perspective
o Creatively teach the child how to communicate
o Hold the child accountable for those teachings
• With two willing participants, power struggles escalate. Power struggles always require two willing participants!
• Help the child feel powerful!
• What you focus on you get more of!
• Whomever you have placed in charge of your feelings, you have placed in control of you!!! (this is HUGE as a parent/teacher)
• You are never upset for the reason you think you are.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

PDD-NOS a Fading Diagnoses?

What is the definition of pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified and how was it considered different then autism spectrum disorder? What are the symptoms of pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified? How prevalent is it? What is the age of onset? What causes it? What are the physical features? What are the treatments for pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified? What does pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified look like in the DSM-IV and what does it look like now in the DSM-V? Why where these changes made?

 Definition of PDD-NOS 


 PDD-NOS is Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified. PDD-NOS and ASD are sometimes used interchangeably. Sometimes PDD-NOS is referred to as “subthreshhold autism” this can mean one of two things: One, the child does not have all of the characteristics. Two, they have mild symptoms (Autism Speaks Inc.). When saying my son had PDD-NOS it was often stated “oh so he has a mild form of autism” or “he is high functioning then”. I would try to explain that although those statements can be true, they are not always true with the diagnoses of PDD-NOS. When we went in he was hardly talking and was not very social with very little short eye contact, so he was not mild in those areas, but he did not have repetitive behaviors, so he was missing one of the three areas of diagnoses of classic autism. 

Symptoms, Prevalence and Age of Onset of PDD-NOS 


 “PDD-NOS is characterized by delays in development of socialization and communication skills. Parents may notice associated behaviors as early as infancy. These may include delays in using and understanding language, difficulty relating to people, unusual play with toys and other objects, difficulty with changes in routine or surroundings and repetitive body movements or behavior patterns” (Autism Speaks Inc.). “Some children with an ASD show hints of future problems within the first few months of life. In others, symptoms might not show up until 24 months or later. Some children with an ASD seem to develop normally until around 18 to 24 months of age and then they stop gaining new skills, or they lose the skills they once had. A person with an ASD might: not respond to their name by 12 months, not point at objects to show interest (point at an airplane flying over) by 14 months, not play "pretend" games (pretend to "feed" a doll) by 18 months, avoid eye contact and want to be alone, have trouble understanding other people's feelings or talking about their own feelings, have delayed speech and language skills, repeat words or phrases over and over (echolalia), give unrelated answers to questions, get upset by minor changes, have obsessive interests, flap their hands, rock their body, or spin in circles, have unusual reactions to the way things sound, smell, taste, look, or feel” (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2013). “Children with these conditions [PDDs] often are confused in their thinking and generally have problems understanding the world around them” (WebMD, LLC).
These conditions are identified in children around the age of 3. This is why they are called developmental disorders because 3 and younger is when the most development occurs in a child. “The condition actually starts far earlier than age 3, but parents often do not notice a problem until the child is a toddler who is still not walking, talking, or developing in the ways other children of the same age are.” “The five types of PDD are: autism, aspergers syndrome, childhood disintegrative disorder, rett’s syndrome, and not otherwise specified” (WebMD, LLC).
The prevalence is 1 in 88 children in the US. In South Korea, using a different diagnoses process, it is 1 in 38. The process that South Korea uses picks up the 2/3 of the children who could be missed using the US diagnoses process (Autism Speaks Inc., 2014).

Cause of PDD-NOS 


“Investigators have already identified more than a dozen gene patterns associated with autism” (Wallis, 2009). Although all the causes are not known, there are many likely causes. There are many different factors that make children have a higher chance of having ASD: environmental, biologic, and genetic factors can all play a role. Scientists agree that genes are at the top of the list. “Children who have a sibling or parent with ASD are at a higher risk of having ASD. ASDs tend to occur more often in people who have certain genetic or chromosomal conditions”. 10% of children with ASDs also have Down syndrome, fragile X syndrome, Tuberous Sclerosis or other genetic and chromosomal disorders. The prescription drugs valproic acid and thalidomide have been linked with ASD when taken during pregnancy. Parenting practices do not cause ASDs. “The critical period for developing ASDs occurs before birth.” “However, concerns about vaccines and infections have led researchers to consider risk factors before and after birth. A small percentage of children who are born prematurely or with low birthweight are at greater risk for having ASDs.” (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2013).

Physical Features 


“The face and brain develop in coordination, with each influencing the other, beginning in the embryo and continuing through adolescence. Now, University of Missouri researchers have found distinct differences between the facial characteristics of children with autism compared to those of typically developing children. This knowledge could help researchers understand the origins of autism. Aldridge and colleagues found the following distinct differences between facial characteristics of children with autism and those of typically developing children: Children with autism have a broader upper face, including wider eyes. Children with autism have a shorter middle region of the face, including the cheeks and nose. Children with autism have a broader or wider mouth and philtrum -- the divot below the nose, above the top lip. She says these are subtle differences that will enable researchers to further study people with autism spectrum disorders” (Missouri-Columbia., 2011)

Treatment 


The main treatment is behavioral therepy, but some children may need medications ot stabilze mood or behaviors (Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc.). Applied behavioral analysis (ABA) is used to bring about positive, long lasting changes in behavior through learning principles. “ Positive reinforcement is one such principle. When a behavior is followed by some sort of reward, the behavior is more likely to be repeated. Through decades of research,” many techniques have been developed “for increasing useful behaviors and reducing those that may cause harm or interfere with learning.” (Autism Speaks Inc., 2014)“Curriculum development is an individualized process that varies with each child (and his/her family).” “As Lord and Bishop (2010) point out, ‘One of the cardinal requirements of ABA involves collecting data on the progress of the individual and then changing the treatment plan if progress is not occurring.’” (Borden, 2011). “There is currently no cure for ASDs. However, research shows that early intervention treatment services can greatly improve a child’s development.” “Services can include therapy to help the child talk, walk, and interact with others.” (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2013). “ Additionally, the National Research Council offered the following recommendations for Educating Children with Autism (NRC, 2001): Begin treatment early — as soon as a diagnosis of ASD is considered, actively engage the child with ASD in intensive instructional programming, year-round, for at least 25 hours/week, plan teaching opportunities for brief periods of time (15–20 minutes with young children) either one- to-one with an adult or in a small group (depending on individualized need), maintain a low student/teacher ratio (no more than two children with ASD per adult in a classroom), include a family component in programming and provide parent training, evaluate treatment interventions and assess the child’s progress on an ongoing basis to insure that his/her individualized needs are being met” (Borden, 2011).

What are the differences in DSM-IV and DSM-V and why was the change made?


“(DSM-IV), which was adopted formally in 1994, includes 5 subtypes of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (Autistic Disorder, Rett’s Disorder, Childhood Disintegrative Disorder, Asperger’s Disorder, and Pervasive Developmental Disorder — not otherwise specified). DSM V only lists ASD” (Borden, 2011). One of the reasons that they are making the change is if someone is recommended to get testing for autism they may dismiss it because they talk and have friends and don’t realize there are milder forms of autism. It also “replace[s] the old “you have it or you don’t” model of mental illness with the more modern view” that there are many degrees of severity. The other source of confusion that is addressed with this change is “’A child can look like they have P.D.D.-N.O.S., then Asperger’s, then back to autism,’ Dr. Lord said. The inconsistent use of these labels has been a problem for researchers recruiting subjects for studies of autism spectrum disorder” (Wallis, 2009). I completely understand the confusion of the changing diagnoses subgroups. At my son’s therapy there are two other children that are really similar to him and they have a lot of the same behavior and speech level. One of them is diagnosed with classic autism the other aspergers while my son is diagnosed with PDD-NOS with the note that it could be changed in the future when more testing is done. Dr. Lord, of Michigan, said the genetic markers [for autism] “don’t seem to map at all into what people currently call Asperger’s or P.D.D.” Nor have many of these genes been linked to distinct sets of symptoms. Until research can identify reliable biological markers for autism subtypes, Dr. Lord and other experts say, it is better to have no subtypes than the wrong ones” (Wallis, 2009).

Bibliography 


Autism Speaks Inc. (2014). Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). Retrieved Febuary 10, 2014, from Autism Speaks: http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/treatment/applied-behavior-analysis-aba

Autism Speaks Inc. (n.d.). PDD-NOS. Retrieved Febuary 10, 2014, from Autism Speaks: http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/pdd-nos

Autism Speaks Inc. (2014). Prevalence Faq. Retrieved Febuary 10, 2014, from Autism Speaks: http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/prevalence/prevalence-faq

Borden, M. C. (2011). Treating individuals who have autism: DSM-V, ABA, and beyond. The Brown University Child and Adolescent Behavior Letter , 27 (8), 1, 4-6.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2013, December 20). Facts About ASDs. Retrieved Febuary 10, 2014, from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/facts.html

Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc. (n.d.). pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS). Retrieved Febuary 10, 2014, from Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc.: http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/1527231/pervasive-developmental-disorder-not-otherwise-specified-PDD-NOS

Missouri-Columbia., U. o. (2011, October 21). Autistic facial characteristics identified. Retrieved Febuary 10, 2014, from Science Daily: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/10/111020105914.htm

Wallis, C. (2009, November 2). A Powerful Identity, a Vanishing Diagnosis. New York Times , 1-5.

WebMD, LLC. (n.d.). Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDDs). Retrieved Febuary 10, 2014, from WebMD: http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/development-disorder

Saturday, February 8, 2014

YouTube, Facebook and Pinterest

Posting, Uploading and Pinning.

I have been busy posting, uploading and pinning of all sorts lately. Pictures, videos and meme's galore. Josiah started swimming again and I got copies of all his under water videos and underwater pictures. 

Pinterest

Pinterest has all kinds of new memes posted to it. The pinterest posts links to the location on FB that the photo's are located for easy sharing on FB.

FaceBook

For facebook I organized the edited meme type pictures by:
Other Memes: which contain the non Josiah picture memes that I made.
Bible Quotes: Different quotes from the Bible with pictures of Josiah
Josiah Memes: Memes that I have used Josiah's picture for plus maybe a few other ones.

This is also where I make small updates/share funny things LM does and share pictures I take of him each day.
YouTube
This is where I have uploaded quite a few new videos: click the link for more than what is posted below.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Social Situations


Hope for Josiah

I really hope that someday Josiah will be better in social situations then I am.  I dread group projects or speeches. This past semester was a great experience because I did have a group project. I have I guess just like Josiah had social opportunities when he is swimming to talk to people. This has helped me to open up to people a little, but still does not help much for me as it does him. I see changes in his social ability which is great. For me it takes for ever to get used to anyone. Sometimes I will say nothing just nod or say a few words when people are talking to me in person or even on the computer (typing is so much easier). Other times I will talk and talk and talk. Depends on the subject for the most part. Most of this social awkwardness does not apply to when I am with family and by family I mean my immediate family.

The Questions

I will more times then not walk away from talking to someone I do not know well and think: Did I say something stupid? Did I say what I wanted to say right? Did I break some social code I was not aware of? Did I say something the wrong way? Are they board or are they interested in talking? Am I talking too much? too little? too quite? too loud? I will even think back on something I said days or even months or longer and wonder if someone still thinks about how stupid I sounded (if I figured I said something that came out wrong).Logically I know the other person would not be thinking back on something so far back or even something I said not too long ago, but I still am like "grrr that totally came out wrong, social fail again, I wish this social stuff was so much easier then it is". This thought is not easily pushed aside when I have heard people say stuff about what I said. What is so sad is that even in the autism community negative things have been said, even though if their child was in same situation they would hope for acceptance. That in its self is kind of sad, that they want to scream acceptance for their child, but not accept autistic traits in an adult....their child will someday be an adult.

The Learning

I often will ask my husband did I write that out well/does that sound good/does that make sense when sending stuff to some people. Or will ask a friend is it ok to say this or that to (fill in who they are to me) and get opinions from other people on if it is socially acceptable or not. I have learned this way throughout the years. I have learned how to be social even though ti does not come naturally or anywhere near natural to me. I still wonder if I am doing it right. It is like if you learn how to  do something new and you check with your teacher to see if you are doing it correctly, but for me there is no social teacher out there. Josiah with his therapy has had help with learning at a younger age from his therapy which I know will do him much more good then me just navigating on my own. I have always just put my social awkwardness off to being shy and abused and nothing more then that. Now it kind of makes sense. I can remember when I was a kid not wanting to talk to people and so my parent's solution was to force me to order my own food if I wanted to eat out or to talk to whoever we come into contact with. I still will ask hubby to ask the waiter for something if we are out and part of this is because it makes me uncomfortable and another part of this is because well, I have not made eye contact with them once so I honestly could not pick our waiter out from the crowed of workers.

Situations

Other situations other then eating out that this becomes a problem. Well loads of places. Having to talk to a teacher about a problem I have. Questions are easier if done after class and not in front of everyone, so even being asked to express something by the teacher in front of class becomes a problem. With LM's Dr's for ex. The GI and WIC lady who are both so strong minded.When someone is so strongly opinionated and a very dominating person it makes it really difficult to get a single word in or to do anything other then sit and agree, even if I do not agree. I will a lot of times let things go like calling me by the wrong name or something just because (I honestly do not have an explanation for this one). I have issues starting conversations with people or sometimes even keeping a conversation going. I might go over something over and over and over in my head before I actually say it to someone. These types of things are exactly why there are studies out there about women who have autism finding themselves in abusive relationships more then the average. I myself have been there and am very happy to be with caring, loving man at my side now. Not out in front of me dragging me through whatever crap he sees fit to drag me through like my abusive ex that I met at way to young of an age. I am so happy hubby and I started to get to know each other online; otherwise, not sure how well meeting him would have gone. We are both kind of shy. The very first time we met in person he probably wondered why I was not talking to him hardly at all. I have opinions on things, but it is extremely hard for me to express them. I find it hard to for ex point out if a carseat is being used wrong according to the manual (even if the baby's life is at stake). Even though I am nice and do not think badly of many people I have still been called a cold person. I have still been called rude and other negative qualities I do not try to be, want to be, or even knew I was doing.

The Good

I have spoke up to some people about this when out and about and in the end I feel like adrenalin is rushing through me and I half stalked them before even bring it up. I have stood up for my ability to breastfeed my hungry baby in public. I have stood up for my son when he has needed someone to speak up for him. I have advocated for him far better then I could myself. This blog was created for him and I have expressed tons of stuff about him, but have never talked much about my self. Through my time with God(took a year off of no dating and no looking for anyone) and myself, getting married, and having Josiah I have found more of a voice for the people in my life and for myself. For the ability to say NO, I will not do that just because I am a nice person (I still kind of struggle with this one a lot, but is possible to say no sometimes now). 

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Josiah In 2013


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Monday, December 2, 2013

What Life Has Been Lately


School

Will start with yay!This semester is almost over with. We have a group presentation, for our group project that has been going on the whole semester, this Thursday with this comes a class, self and group assessment. Then the following week after that we have a group paper that will be 4-6 pages long and a individual paper that only needs to be a page long. I am so happy this class is almost done. First paper I did for it I got a 68% and still had an A in the class over all but feared I would get the same on my other two(then supposed to be three) papers that I had left until the end of the semester that were to be written the same way. I got one of the two papers back and got a 90% on it which makes me much happier. I am even more excited(besides thinking of buying books-one of which is 95$) about next semester. I will be taking my degree needed young children with special needs class and a photography class. I am excited about the classes but not so thrilled that I have to get up so early two days of the week for a whole semester. I have done this before with a summer class, but they do not last as long as a regular semester class. For the summer class it also was the only class I was taking where as for this semester I go straight from the one class to the next on Monday and on Wednesday I get to go home after class, unless I have to do something on campus for my special education class (I know there is an extra out of class thing that I have to do, but not sure what yet).

Swimming

Since Josiah has been done swimming with his instructor he has been down to only going once a week with us. Josiah has been doing better with less swimming this time then last time we were unable to swim as much, but I can still tell the difference. I got a cover for my phone, so I am able to take underwater pictures and videos. I have so far only taken video's as I can not get the button to push for taking pictures under water. I looked up on how to resolve this problem and have downloaded a camera that has a timer option onto my phone. I am super happy they have wonderful lighting at the place we swim. I was hoping to get back into three days a week swimming with LM this week, but his teething has caused some issues again and so we have to wait until his loose stools clears up before getting in the pool again. We are hoping that since both top 2 year molars are in and one bottom has fully broke the skin and the other just broke the skin that by the time LM will be swimming with Michael again that we will not be dealing with crabby teething toddler with chances of not being able to swim due to loose stools. 

Aspie

I was shared two different tests from an aspie friend that said based on diagnoses requirements I am considered an aspie. Then I got a copy of a test from someone that said it was the test most psychologists give to adults to see if the have aspergers which again told me I did. I have had thoughts about it as I learned more about stuff with LM that might be on the spectrum as well. 

LM's Over All Health

Just like last year and the year before the month of December seems to be more about getting health issues figured out then just enjoying Christmas. Luckily this year I have the tree up and lights up as of the past Saturday so we won't have a repeat of last min throwing lights up a week before Christmas(was about to not put anything up). Dec 11th LM goes in for his initial visit to the sleep clinic and hopefully will get an apt for a sleep study, so we can rule out any health reasons as to why he keeps waking up at night. I am cool with dealing with him waking at night if there is no health reason as to why he is doing it and want to get a health reason resolved if that is why he is waking at night all the time. The 18th of Dec. a week after the initial visit we have to cancel our chiropractor visit and go into the hospital to do a scope. This is to rule out any GI issues as to why LM will not gain weight. His therapy was unable to get a go ahead to feed him gluten so they will take his temp first thing, Jason will give him gluten and then they will take his temp after his two hour therapy is done. We are two weeks from scope this Wed so hoping that will be enough to show something since we have been waiting on permission to go ahead with it. Praying he does not have any bad reactions to the gluten and praying that we safely get through the scope procedure as he will be sedated for it. He can only have clear fluids starting at midnight and can no longer have fluids after 5:30 A. Wish us luck/pray for us on this one as he wakes up several times at tight to nurse. 

Guest Bloggers

I have asked several people to guest blog on the blog, so in the future there might be some posts by a few guests. As no one has a deadline as to when to get it done and I have given them all the option to be anonymous, use name, or a nickname of their choice I can not give much information other then a couple of people are thinking about it and have few others interested in it.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

30 Days of Thankfulness


On day 2 of November I decided to take part in the 30 days of thankfulness. I knew from the beginning that I would have a hard time doing it on time and that I would probably end up doing multiple days at once at times, but figured it would be good to get partially back into the habit that I had from the beginning of LM's page. When I first started his page every night before I would go to bed I would share something that I was happy LM did or that I was thankful for. With such a busy schedule and late bedtimes where I passed out about the same time as LM it made it more difficult to keep up on it and soon I stopped doing it. Here is the 30 days of thankfulness(encase anyone missed some of it or all of it or just want to review them all together):

First Post:

Day 1: I am thankful for my husband who is hard working, loving, understanding, and a great father which brings me to Day 2: I am thankful for my son who is absolutely wonderful just the way he is, even with the challenges. He is smart, loving, he is my guide on this autism journey.

Second Post:

Day 3 and Day 4:  I am thankful to have found swimming for my son since it helps with his tantrums and meltdowns. With that I am also thankful for such a great instructor (who cares for Josiah so much and absolutely loves his job) and program that we found. I am thankful for ISR because it teaches self-rescue, so he can save himself in the event that he ever jumps into the water that he always finds so interesting. He also had no fear of it in the past and now has grown to have respect for it (like not just jumping in for a toy that he wants or getting in a pool that no one is in).

Third Post:

Guess I have to do thankfulness days 5,6, and 7 now. 5: thankful we can put food on the table. Even if it is rice vs rice noodles because we just can not afford the 6$ box of spaghetti noodles. Yes, sometimes being GF sucks because there are limited places to go out to eat and most are expensive, just like the food in the stores, but in the end our health is better for it and that is the best thing. 6: I am really thankful that we were able to get a scholarship at the the place that LM swims at because it is hard enough to get the 37.5 a month and really do not think we would be able to get the 75 a month that it would otherwise cost without the scholarship. To go with this I am grateful that a couple of people were able to donate some money towards his swimming which has helped out with paying the monthly fee. 7: I am extremely grateful that medicaid and our insurance together has covered the ABA costs. Which is 160 a day, 5 days a week. We are still praying that we are accepted for SSI because that would help pay for all of the other medical bills that are pilled up and other costs we have. I would be over the top thankful if we got that. I can promise everyone that we are not in such a bad money crunch because we are bad at budgeting or live outside our means. I live with my dad and pay rent because we can't afford the rent of an apartment. We only have cable bc other's want it in the house so we split the bill three ways. We never go out to eat(it is just not affordable being gluten free). We do not go out to movies or anything like that. The main things we do for fun are free or we take advantage of stuff we already have to have like the pass to the pool(if Josiah did not need this, we just would not have it). We do have a car payment, but since hubby drives 30 min to 45 min back and forth to work 5 days a week we needed a good reliable used car and not a crappy used car. We do have a cell phone bill, but don't have a house phone. We cloth diaper so there is no diaper cost.

Fourth Post:

Day 8: I am thankful for this FB page and blog with all of you awesome people on it! Thankful for the comments, likes and support that comes with the page. The ability to connect with other moms of your children with autism or just people who love to support people/families with autism. So thank you everyone!

Fifth Post:

Day 9: I am really thankful that I have a camera to take pictures. As you can probably tell I love taking pictures of my son and you can for sure tell the difference between the ones taken with my phone and those taken with my regular camera. We saved money from Christmas, my birthday which was in March, and with a little tax time help, my hubby not only replaced the camera that I had before that no longer worked, but actually got me an awesome upgrade to it! It was a really happy time to see the new camera, so although I am not very materialistic, I love my camera because it can help me capture so many wonderful moment's in my son's life.

Sixth Post:

Day 10: I am thankful for a church that we can volunteer in. I am thankful that they offer the amenities that they do: a special need a room where my son van feel safe and comfortable and a parent child room that we can do in if he isn't having a good day in class or sanctuary, so we can still enjoy service while he can play.

Seventh Post:

Day 11: I am thankful for all the troops. I am thankful I have friends and family: 5 uncles, an uncle in law, an aunts, an aunt in law, a cousin, a cousin in law, a grandparent in law, a brother in law, a step father in law, a great grandpa, and a great grandparent in law who has served in the Navy, Army, Marines, National Guard, and Air Force in times of piece and in WWII, Vietnam and Iraq. I am also thankful for the family who have served in a different way as sheriffs, police officers and firefighters.

Eighth Post:

Feeling really drained and stomach not feeling the best, so the debate comes as to stay home or go to school....I think school. Home I will have a toddler jumping all over me. Which reminds me I am behind on my days of thankfulness. Need to do 12, 13, and now 14. Day 12: I am thankful for school where I can learn more about 1. God (go to a Christian college) 2. more about early childhood 3. get to take extra classes in art like: pottery which I already did and next semester it is photography. 4. also thankful that because I am going to school I can go hide there from my toddler to maybe feel a little bit better when I get home because going to class right now is the only break I will get. Day 13: I am thankful that I was able to continue breastfeeding my son even through all of the tough times. It was a lot of hard work to do what I felt was best for him and to continue to do so with support from some and negativity from others. Day 14: I am thankful for my 12 year old cat, that I got when I was 12. He is so patient and kind with Josiah. He puts up with so much from him and still comes around and still lets Josiah touch him. I am thankful that he was there with me for years through all kinds of ups and downs in my life. I am a little sad he is getting up in age now, but will enjoy every day, week and year I have left with him and getting to see him and Josiah love each other.

Ninth Post:

Day 15, 16, and 17: I will start with something that just happened as #15 Thankful there is not a whole in the side of the house as we just had our very own earthquake caused by a tree falling down and hitting the side of the house. Not seeing any leaks, no broken windows, smashed our new gutters though. Now we just need to find someone with a chain saw, so we can be thankful for the borrowed equipment and or help. #16 Is thankful that Josiah learned his colors. If you say can you hand me the ___ M&M he can do it, but if you say what color is this M&M he won't tel you the color. If you say the name of the color he can repeat it back to us. #17 Really thankful for cloth diapers because we can just wash and reuse instead of spending a ton of money on diapers. Otherwise we would be going through so many diapers lately IDK what we would do. We honestly could not could not afford diapers anyways.

Tenth Post:

An update and then my days of thankfulness are at the end: Yay! so we did end up getting medicaid to pick up LM's ABA cost that was not covered by our insurance. We are thankful we have insurance and medicaid bc otherwise ABA is 160 a day, 5 days a week. We also just might be getting SSI. We got a call saying we would temporary receive some benefits(IDK if this month or next as we still have more papers to fill out about rent and how much Jason receives in wages) while waiting for the medical side to approve him, we are hopeful that the medical side will approve him and we will continue to get benefits. We are aware some people started receiving and then got denied and stopped getting payment and had to reapply then get approved. I am praying we are not one of those cases. The benefits we receive will be much appreciated, as we have a TON of unpaid medical bills for things that are just not covered by insurance or medicaid(in LM's case). We also have other monthly medical expenses like LM's drink thinkener every month that is of course even though it is needed to keep him out of the hospital is not considered medical. We are not sure of the amount we will be getting yet, but anything will help. I am hoping we have enough to help pay of medical bills and make it a little easier to afford rent, food and Josiah's swimming pass at kroc. We also are reapplying for food stamps in hopes that we do not have to say well we can not get that extra stuff LM needs bc we can not afford it this week(so once we are officially approved for SSI and or food stamps we need to get back with the other and let them know we are receiving the other one). Kind of behind on my days of thankfulness as well have 18, 19, 20, 21, and 22 to do. I will say 18 and 19 are pretty much covered by medicaid and temp SSI which is still helpful even if we do not get full approval right now. Day 20: Thankful for a warm roof over my head Day 21: Thankful for my dad who helps to get us some places after Jason goes to work, so we do not always have to take the bus. Day 22: Thankful for people who accept my son for who he is and love him. So thank you to all the family, friends, people on this page who don't have to care about LM but make the choice to. I am thankful that Lolo plays with LM when he is swimming with Michael (swim instructor) and that they both care so much about him and that LM cares about and even misses them both when he is not swimming with him. I am sure Josiah can not wait until he gets to see Lolo again.

Eleventh Post:

Day 23 and 24 of thankfulness: Day 23 I am thankful for the overtime hubby has been getting lately, will make Christmas a bit easier. Day 24: I am thankful that the new really cheap waterproof phone cover not only tested well phone free before hand but took amazing video today at the pool. Going to have to upload to YouTube to share with everyone in the page.

Twelfth Post:

Day 25: I am thankful I have a husband who can cook. he made some yummy pizza and I do not mean he threw a frozen pizza in the oven. I mean made the dough then added toppings and placed in oven. Josiah loved it so much he was made his fork was not working for him so he would take some pieces out to eat and other times he had his face right in the bowl eating.

Last few days of thankfulness:

Day 26-30. Day 26: Thankful LM is too young to realize that one of the fish died. Day 27: Thankful we were able to find and successfully make a crestless pumpkin pie. Day 28: Thankful we were able to spend time with Jason's family for thanksgiving and that Josiah had fun. Josiah might have not ate much, but he still enjoyed seeing his uncles, papa, nana and a cousin. Day 29: Thankful I was able to spend some time with my sister and mother and get some really great deals in the process. Got things for a price I would rather spend on items then what is normally expected for items we were in need of for Christmas or just otherwise in need of, like socks. Day 30: Thankful LM  was so great with helping put up ornaments and let mommy clean the tree(had to clean each individual branch bc it was never in a container when put in the basement last year). Also, thankful that when he found and held a glass bulb too tight that he did not actually get a piece of glass in his hand.